Yikes! It's been almost a week since I last posted. It's been too hot...at least that's my excuse. Today we're supposed to have a thunder-storm - a rare event on Vancouver Island - and it's not the first. The weather's been crazy everywhere. Climate change is happening, and what we're seeing this summer is only the beginning.
It was my concern about climate change that was the major deciding factor when I joined the group that was developing Pacific Gardens. If I was going to be living in a world shaken by the effects of a changing climate, I wanted to be in a caring, supportive community, where we looked out for each other.
Most importantly, I wanted to be with people who had the imagination and wherewithal to look at different ways of living - growing our own food, recycling, bicycling, walking and car-pooling to places, sharing resources, reducing consumption, making our own entertainment and fun, networking with others to build on what we have.
I haven't been disappointed. Yes, we have struggles and conflicts, just like any other group of people, but because we share a common vision of a better world, we try to solve them. And as I look out my living-room window at the multitude of beautiful flowers and fruits and vegetables growing in people's gardens, watch the myriad butterflies and the birds, and hear the children playing, Pacific Gardens seems like an oasis of tranquility in this troubled old world.
And that's why I'm here.
Kathryn
Friday, July 13, 2012
Saturday, July 7, 2012
The rock-polisher effect
Sometimes it's hard to explain to people why I chose to live in cohousing. It isn't always easy; in fact, sometimes it's downright challenging. I guess the best answer I can give is that I like living here because it makes me a better person.
Diana Leafe Christian, cohousing guru and author, has described it as the rock-polisher effect. By tumbling up against each other as we struggle to live in community, we round off our sharp edges, become brighter, more beautiful.
For me, I've learned how to be more patient with myself and others, more accepting of differences. Understanding others takes time, and that's good. It's also given me the courage to live according to my beliefs, knowing that there are others who will join me along the way. And that is a great gift, worth all the challenges.
Kathryn
Kathryn
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Where neighbours become friends
And then I experience what I did in the last two days. I had to go to hospital for a diagnostic test today, and sent out an e-mail for someone to drive me there and back. I immediately had offers of help from two people.
Then, I had problems with a lock, sent out another e-mail asking for help, and within five minutes one of my neighbours showed up and fixed it in a nanosecond.
And finally, this afternoon, when I came back from the hospital, a neighbour showed up at my door with a gift of a scrumptious cinnamon bun - apologizing that it didn't have any icing!
Now, I don't want to give the impression that cohousing is all about what you can get from others. It's also about what you can give. And this culture of giving is contagious - when you see your neighbours helping each other out, you feel motivated to do the same. And that builds connections and trust.
So, despite having to endure a rather unpleasant medical test, I am feeling really good this afternoon, thanks to my wonderful, caring neighbours here at Pacific Gardens!
Kathryn
Monday, July 2, 2012
My first cohousing blog ever!
I admit I am not always au courant with the latest in online developments. I only got into Facebook and Twitter when I was (briefly) a Green Party candidate. I have to say, though, that I am finding them a wonderful tool for connecting like-minded people, and, with Twitter, making pithy comments.
Blogging is different, however. I've kept a journal for many years, recording my innermost thoughts and dreams, but this is much more public, a cross between a newspaper story and a personal account. Blogging about cohousing, and particularly, life at Pacific Gardens Cohousing Community, will be interesting, so watch this space!
Kathryn
Blogging is different, however. I've kept a journal for many years, recording my innermost thoughts and dreams, but this is much more public, a cross between a newspaper story and a personal account. Blogging about cohousing, and particularly, life at Pacific Gardens Cohousing Community, will be interesting, so watch this space!
Kathryn
Monday, June 25, 2012
The adventure continues
Pacific Gardens Cohousing Community has come a long way since I started this blog. Back then we weren't yet living our dream. Our complex still was under construction.
I called my blog, My Cohousing Adventure. I shared my experience of moving from Calgary, Alberta to Nanaimo, British Columbia. That involved integrating into communities within communities.
The most closely knit circle was Pacific Gardens Cohousing Community. But there were other groups of people with common interests in Nanaimo, on Vancouver Island, and further afield along the British Columbia coast.
It's interesting to look up my first blog post and see what I wrote. It was on November 25, 2008, and I titled it Pigs Will Fly.
Fast forward to June 25, 2012. Believe it or not, I think it's fair to say that pigs are flying!
The residents of Pacific Gardens Cohousing Community are a wide cross section of people. There are elders, middle aged baby boomers, university students, and families with young children. Pacific Gardens seems to be a mini United Nations, with people of many nationalities and religions.
One of the characteristics of Pacific Gardens Cohousing Community from the very beginning was a fondness of potluck suppers. At 6:00 pm every Thursday there's a potluck that's open to the public. This often attracts repeat visits by friends and family members as well as one-off visits on the part of people who are curious about cohousing.
But there also are many spontaneous potluck suppers on other occasions. When a new person or family moves in, a potluck is held to ease their evening meal on their busy moving day. Potlucks are held for many other reasons too. Pacific Gardeners love them, and will hold one at the drop of a hat.
I like the fact that the community's name includes Gardens. It's an apt metaphor for the reality on the ground.
If you take the word literally, several community members are keen gardeners, even to the extent of hosting permaculture courses at Pacific Gardens.
But many other kinds of "gardening" are happening too. Cohousing is a way of life that grows people.
Learning how to cooperate with neighbours is an ongoing journey. During conflicts, I've thought of this or that person as a weed. But then, on other occasions, one of those very "weeds" has turned out to be a person of great sensitivity. He or she has noticed an unmet need in our community, and has rallied us to support a person who could use a shoulder to lean on. My idea of what a "weed" is has been challenged again and again.
I'm sure that other Pacific Gardeners could say the same of me -- that I have contributed to their personal growth.
I could rattle on about all the neat stuff that happens at Pacific Gardens -- the interesting forums on environmental topics, the movie nights, the musical evenings, the meditation circles, the yoga classes, the painting bee to decorate the dining tables ....... you name it.
I could try to give you a sense of the porous boundary between Pacific Gardens and the surrounding community -- how much interface there is between Pacific Gardens and external friends, family members and folks with common concerns.
But ....... other Pacific Gardeners have expressed a desire to post on this blog. I am thrilled about that. To me, it means that Pacific Gardens truly is showing itself up as the garden I always thought it would be. From here on in, there will be a variety of voices representing the community.
So ....... with that ....... drum roll ....... I hereby re-name this blog .......
OUR Cohousing Adventure!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Common Ground
Last night I experienced one of those triumphs that may have looked inconsequential to someone else but that I enjoyed.
I facilitated the weekly community meeting of Pacific Gardens Cohousing Community.
For these meetings we previously had sat around a table. Back when our complex still was under construction, and we met in the board room of our marketing office in a shopping mall, we sat around a large table. There we didn't have any choice. That pretty much was the only configuration that was feasible in that space.
More recently, after the completion of construction, we switched our meetings to the communal dining hall in our Common House. Yet, although we had masses of space and almost unlimited options, we continued to sit around a table. Actually in this case there were three smaller tables that we placed in a row. But the effect was the same. It felt like one large table.
Now and then I had mentioned to the members of my community that I would like us to sit in an open circle without a table. But there had been resistance to that idea. It felt to me as if it was impossible to dislodge the table. It was almost as if it was carved in stone.
From November 5th through 8th, I participated in a meeting facilitation workshop at Roberts Creek Cohousing on the "Sunshine Coast" of British Columbia (BC). It was one of a series of quarterly workshops in which we are learning how to implement the consensus decision making model that intentional communities use. Representatives from eight intentional communities in Coastal BC -- six cohousing communities and two ecovillages -- attend these workshops. The participating communities take turns in hosting the workshops.
In comparing notes with members of other communities, I discovered that they'd all adopted open circles for their meetings. The last hold outs, besides ourselves, had been Cranberry Commons Cohousing. They had switched from a table to an open circle in the spring of 2009. Their representatives reported that the quality of their meetings had improved dramatically after they'd changed their format.
You may wonder why I'm going on about this. Why is seating such a big deal? Well, as it turns out, it is quite significant. You may not be aware of it, but a physical barrier in the midst of a group creates an emotional barrier. It affects the quality of your communication.
When I was at Roberts Creek, I sighed and said that Pacific Gardeners seemed unable to let go of our table. A member of Cranberry Commons suggested that I lead by example. She said that, if I stood while I facilitated meetings, that alone would shift the energy.
Oh yes, that's another part of this that I forgot to mention. In the other cohousing communities, they not only sit in an open circle, but their meeting facilitator stands throughout the meeting. A standing facilitator is much more equipped to engage with the group than a sitting one. A standing facilitator can jot notes on a flipchart or whiteboard to capture salient ideas. He or she can take a step or two towards a meeting participant who is talking for too long. Interestingly enough, that small movement can have the effect of "waking up" a person who is rambling and making him/her aware of what he/she is doing. If two people get into conflict, a standing facilitator can step between them and break their line of sight. A standing facilitator is better able to see the raised hands of people who want to speak. A standing facilitator gets tired of standing -- I mean physically tired -- and is motivated to keep a meeting to a reasonable length.
So, at our first community meeting following my return from Roberts Creek, I did just that. I was the facilitator, and I stood while everyone sat around a table. After that meeting, one of my community members emailed me, complimented me on the flow of the meeting, and said it had been an improvement over our usual meetings. This person did not make any reference to the fact that I had stood, but I suspect that that had contributed to the perceived improvement.
Then, when I facilitated our community meeting a week later (last night), I took a bold step and asked for an open circle. To my pleasant surprise, my fellow Pacific Gardeners agreed to give it a try.
At the end of the meeting we spent a few minutes evaluating what had gone well and what could have been improved.
Some meeting participants disliked the open circle. They were the people who liked to take notes, to have minutes of previous meetings readily to hand so that they could refer to them when questions arose, and so on.
Other participants liked the open circle. They said it felt to them as if everyone was more equal, they had a better view of everyone else, there were fewer opportunities for distracting side activities such as eating or drinking, and they found themselves remaining more alert.
I suggested a compromise. I asked if the people who liked to take notes would be willing to bring trays that they could put on their laps. I then floated out the idea of TV trays (small trays on legs that originally were designed for eating while one watched television). It transpired that one couple in our community had a large collection of TV trays. They agreed to lend them to us for our meetings.
So that was where we left it. Next week we will assemble in an open circle, but some folks will have TV trays in front of them.
When I went to bed last night, I had a warm, fuzzy feeling. The members of my community, who had been polarized on this issue, had found common ground.
I facilitated the weekly community meeting of Pacific Gardens Cohousing Community.
For these meetings we previously had sat around a table. Back when our complex still was under construction, and we met in the board room of our marketing office in a shopping mall, we sat around a large table. There we didn't have any choice. That pretty much was the only configuration that was feasible in that space.
More recently, after the completion of construction, we switched our meetings to the communal dining hall in our Common House. Yet, although we had masses of space and almost unlimited options, we continued to sit around a table. Actually in this case there were three smaller tables that we placed in a row. But the effect was the same. It felt like one large table.
Now and then I had mentioned to the members of my community that I would like us to sit in an open circle without a table. But there had been resistance to that idea. It felt to me as if it was impossible to dislodge the table. It was almost as if it was carved in stone.
From November 5th through 8th, I participated in a meeting facilitation workshop at Roberts Creek Cohousing on the "Sunshine Coast" of British Columbia (BC). It was one of a series of quarterly workshops in which we are learning how to implement the consensus decision making model that intentional communities use. Representatives from eight intentional communities in Coastal BC -- six cohousing communities and two ecovillages -- attend these workshops. The participating communities take turns in hosting the workshops.
In comparing notes with members of other communities, I discovered that they'd all adopted open circles for their meetings. The last hold outs, besides ourselves, had been Cranberry Commons Cohousing. They had switched from a table to an open circle in the spring of 2009. Their representatives reported that the quality of their meetings had improved dramatically after they'd changed their format.
You may wonder why I'm going on about this. Why is seating such a big deal? Well, as it turns out, it is quite significant. You may not be aware of it, but a physical barrier in the midst of a group creates an emotional barrier. It affects the quality of your communication.
When I was at Roberts Creek, I sighed and said that Pacific Gardeners seemed unable to let go of our table. A member of Cranberry Commons suggested that I lead by example. She said that, if I stood while I facilitated meetings, that alone would shift the energy.
Oh yes, that's another part of this that I forgot to mention. In the other cohousing communities, they not only sit in an open circle, but their meeting facilitator stands throughout the meeting. A standing facilitator is much more equipped to engage with the group than a sitting one. A standing facilitator can jot notes on a flipchart or whiteboard to capture salient ideas. He or she can take a step or two towards a meeting participant who is talking for too long. Interestingly enough, that small movement can have the effect of "waking up" a person who is rambling and making him/her aware of what he/she is doing. If two people get into conflict, a standing facilitator can step between them and break their line of sight. A standing facilitator is better able to see the raised hands of people who want to speak. A standing facilitator gets tired of standing -- I mean physically tired -- and is motivated to keep a meeting to a reasonable length.
So, at our first community meeting following my return from Roberts Creek, I did just that. I was the facilitator, and I stood while everyone sat around a table. After that meeting, one of my community members emailed me, complimented me on the flow of the meeting, and said it had been an improvement over our usual meetings. This person did not make any reference to the fact that I had stood, but I suspect that that had contributed to the perceived improvement.
Then, when I facilitated our community meeting a week later (last night), I took a bold step and asked for an open circle. To my pleasant surprise, my fellow Pacific Gardeners agreed to give it a try.
At the end of the meeting we spent a few minutes evaluating what had gone well and what could have been improved.
Some meeting participants disliked the open circle. They were the people who liked to take notes, to have minutes of previous meetings readily to hand so that they could refer to them when questions arose, and so on.
Other participants liked the open circle. They said it felt to them as if everyone was more equal, they had a better view of everyone else, there were fewer opportunities for distracting side activities such as eating or drinking, and they found themselves remaining more alert.
I suggested a compromise. I asked if the people who liked to take notes would be willing to bring trays that they could put on their laps. I then floated out the idea of TV trays (small trays on legs that originally were designed for eating while one watched television). It transpired that one couple in our community had a large collection of TV trays. They agreed to lend them to us for our meetings.
So that was where we left it. Next week we will assemble in an open circle, but some folks will have TV trays in front of them.
When I went to bed last night, I had a warm, fuzzy feeling. The members of my community, who had been polarized on this issue, had found common ground.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Canada's Most Wanted
I bet you think the woman in this photo looks sweet and harmless.
But appearances can be deceptive. Sharon Fulton, spotted here at Pacific Gardens Cohousing Community's ribbon-cutting ceremony on September 22nd, keeps a stash of weapons in her apartment. Her arsenal goes by the innocent sounding label of "kitchen." In that innocuous looking laboratory, she produces a steady stream of lethal concoctions.
Her latest attempt to do us in was the apple walnut cake and caramel sauce that she served at our potluck supper on Monday night. It was to die for -- literally and figuratively.
After my first rapturous mouthful of it, I regained my composure sufficiently to say, "Sharon, you will be the death of us." Without batting an eyelid, she smiled and said, "Don't worry. I know how to do CPR."
But appearances can be deceptive. Sharon Fulton, spotted here at Pacific Gardens Cohousing Community's ribbon-cutting ceremony on September 22nd, keeps a stash of weapons in her apartment. Her arsenal goes by the innocent sounding label of "kitchen." In that innocuous looking laboratory, she produces a steady stream of lethal concoctions.
Her latest attempt to do us in was the apple walnut cake and caramel sauce that she served at our potluck supper on Monday night. It was to die for -- literally and figuratively.
After my first rapturous mouthful of it, I regained my composure sufficiently to say, "Sharon, you will be the death of us." Without batting an eyelid, she smiled and said, "Don't worry. I know how to do CPR."
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