Pacific Gardeners Like to Partay!

Wow! September has come and it's as if the folks at Pacific Gardens have woken from a long summertime slumber. There are so many events, work bees and what our irrepressible Roz calls "partays" that I can hardly keep track of them all.

We've already had one work bee last Saturday, where PGCCers tackled dust and dirt and weeds and windows with a vengeance, and were rewarded with a delicious lunch prepared by one of our newest residents, Carla.

Tomorrow night we're having an outdoor barbecue potluck - most likely the last of the season, alas - followed by an all-ages games night with Scrabble, Encore, and the big favourites, Catan and Magic the Gathering.

Saturday John and I will be at the Harvest Festival. Pacific Gardens will be joining other community groups promoting local food, permaculture, organic gardening, and sustainability.

There'll be great food and music, loads of displays, a petting zoo for the kids, a farmer's market, and hundreds of people attending the festival, which is held on Wesley Street in Nanaimo's Old City Quarter.

The biggest event of the month is our fourth anniversary party on Sept. 21st, with a concert by New Zealand folk singer Anna Van Riel, a special anniversary cake by our Myriam, and a visit by cohousing guru Chuck Durrett.

The following Monday night we're having a Mexican-themed potluck party to welcome our students.  Raul, one of our Mexican students, will play the piano and sing, and we'll definitely have salsa, if not tequila!

But we're not done yet.  On Sept. 25th, Chad and Susana will give a presentation on their tour this spring of cohousing communities on the west coast, and Bill and Sharon will do one on their visit to Prairie Sky, a Calgary cohousing community.

Finally, on Saturday, Sept. 28th, we'll have another work bee, this one starting with a hearty potluck breakfast to give us fuel for all those indoor and outdoor chores.

You never have to worry about having a social life when you're living at Pacific Gardens!

Kathryn

In the Wedding Tent at Sooke Harbour House

Last week I spent a whole day in the wedding tent at Sooke Harbour House.  No, I wasn't getting married (the supply of 60-something women far exceeds the demand).

I was learning about meeting facilitation in cohousing communities.

Now, to some of you, that may seem about as exciting as watching paint dry, but when Diana Leafe Christian is the one leading the workshop, it's never dull.

Christian, or DLC as she's known in cohousing circles, travels the world giving workshops on how to create community, and there's a reason for that.

She's really good.  And what makes her so good is that she is down-to-earth, pragmatic, and principled, as well as very, very funny.

But while she poked fun at some of the more obstructionist folks she has encountered at community meetings, she was also compassionate.

She pointed out that when people block proposals, it can sometimes come from a place of fear, and we should remember that.

There's so much I could say about what I did learn, but it would take at least four or five blog postings, and that might be a bit much!

I certainly acquired skills that will be useful in any meeting, such as how to tactfully handle someone who speaks too long, or is disruptive.

Most of all, I learned how important the role of the facilitator is to good meetings, and how critical it is that they be a servant of the group.

I'm now hoping to try my hand at being a facilitator, which will be a stretch for this impatient cohouser.

I'll let you know how this latest rock-polishing development works!

Kathryn

Keeping Safe in a Friendly Place

When we first envisioned what kind of community Pacific Gardens would be, we wanted it to be open, welcoming and inclusive.

Many of us were condo refugees, wanting to escape the gated community mentality of developments where security was more important than neighbourliness.

So when we moved into Pacific Gardens, we expected to be able to sit back and relax in our new, comfortable environment. Keeping our home safe and secure would be no problem.

Alas, our ideals have come up against the realities of modern-day life, and it's been a struggle for us to come to terms with our need to keep safe while still being a friendly place.

There have been two incidents in recent months that brought this home to us.  The first involved someone we all liked and trusted, who took advantage of our openness to take what didn't belong to him.

The second was a more simple but equally fraught example.  A person showed up on our property looking for another resident, but unbeknownst to us, was a stalker.

We dealt with these in two ways.  First, we held two community circles to help us process our feelings about the betrayal of our trust by the resident who had been our friend, but stole from us.

Second, we initiated new security procedures and reinforced ones we already had, such as not letting in someone you don't know and not leaving outside doors propped open.

We also changed locks and security codes, put up notices asking that doors not be left open, and asked that people clear it with residents before letting in uninvited guests.

So how are we any different from other condos then, if this is what we have to do?  Well, plenty.  For starters, everyone was kept informed, so the rumour-mill didn't go into over-drive.

Second, we had an opportunity to talk about how we felt, and work through our feelings of fear, anger and hurt, which went a long way towards healing the community.

And finally, we took practical steps to remedy the problem, with input from the relevant committees and the community.

And that's the difference with cohousing communities. It's not that bad things don't happen here - they do.

But we come together as a community to deal with them, and that makes us all stronger - and safer.

Kathryn