Could you bear to be happy?

Ever since I moved to Nanaimo, British Columbia in the middle of September 2008, I have been happy -- delectably, deliciously, deliriously happy.

Sure, I've had the occasional test, like the time my vehicle got stuck in the snow on a country road. But even those challenges have turned into blessings. They have brought me into contact with kind people, angels in disguise, whom I otherwise would not have met.

When I first got here, I thought I was going through a honeymoon phase and that it might wear off. Now admittedly, it's still relatively early days for me in Nanaimo. But it is coming up for four months, and -- if anything -- I'm feeling even happier than I did when I arrived.

Some days -- and this has been one of them -- my joy has been so intense that I have found it almost unbearable. I am not accustomed to serving as the container for so much delight.

This has caused me to reflect on my past, when I rarely was as ecstatic as I am now. If sustained happiness could have been handed to me on a platter back then, would I have been receptive to it? Maybe, but then again maybe not.

You may be puzzled by my assertion that I previously could not have tolerated being too happy for too long and the implied extrapolation that many people are the same way. You may be thinking, "Of course I want to be happy. Who wouldn't?"

But just stop and think about it. Could you stand to live in a state of bliss for four months? Never mind that. Could you stand it for four days?

Based on my past performance, I would say I would not have been able to take it. I suspect I was too attached to sadness and fear. They were familiar. I was comfortable being uncomfortable, paradoxical as that may sound.

Having very few breaks from my current state of cheer has been a stretching exercise for me. But, wow, it feels to me like a nice challenge to have.

More Flying Toys

In an earlier blog post, I stated that I was angry and felt like throwing my toys out of my playpen.

Unfortunately, when people throw their toys out on a larger scale, it creates enormous suffering. The news story of the moment is Gaza, but this year tragedies also have unfolded in Sudan, Chad, Zimbabwe, Congo and elsewhere.

It is my dearest wish that humankind would create peace.

I don't know how to persuade people in far away places to do that. The only thing I know how to do is to spend each day learning a bit more about compassionate communication and implementing it right here in Nanaimo, British Columbia, Canada. My primary vehicles for that are my membership of Pacific Gardens Cohousing Community and use of our consensus decision-making model.

As Gandhi said, Be the change you want to see in the world.

Oh My God!

Have just looked out the window, across the water from Vancouver Island.

There is cloud all around, except for a break that is allowing the sun to shine a spotlight on the Coast Mountains on the British Columbia mainland.

When I looked at them yesterday, the peaks had a bit of snow on them. But now they look totally white. At least that's how they look from this angle, bathed in that light. I guess that is the result of last night's snow (which we got even in Nanaimo, but which is gone where I am).

The scene just took my breath away.

To paraphrase what a friend said recently, "I live in such a gorgeous spot, how will I know when I've died and gone to heaven?"

My Big Dream

Consensus decision making and compassionate communication, which I have been learning about through Pacific Gardens Cohousing Community, have so captivated me, that I want to take these topics further.

Developing my communication skills is helping me in my personal life and in my relationships with my fellow cohos. I would like to share these skills with others in cohousing circles and in the wider world as well. That is My Big Dream -- to find a way of expanding nonviolent communication skills into the larger community.

Luckily, I'm going to have a chance to learn more. First of all, belonging to a cohousing community in itself is like signing up for a lifelong workshop. But, in a more formal sense, Tree Bressen is going to be facilitating a series of workshops for the cohousing communities in British Columbia over the next couple of years.

We in the cohousing communities in BC want to develop our capacity to practice these skills ourselves and to teach them to new cohos who join us in the future. Fortunately, Tree shares the dream of building this capacity amongst the cohousing communities in BC.

One of the neat things about cohousing is that the larger cohousing movement is to individual cohousing communities what those cohousing communities are to the people who live in them. Just as a cohousing community offers opportunities for some shared meals, communal gardening, car-sharing and so on, the cohousing movement, collectively, creates economies of scale.

Thus, the cohousing communities in BC have agreed to take turns hosting the series of workshops that Tree will offer to us over the next couple of years. Since Pacific Gardens Cohousing Community's building still is under construction and we haven't even moved in yet, Tree has promised to schedule our hosting stint towards the end of the series.

I've already participated in one of Tree's workshops, back in September 2008. I am so excited to have an opportunity to work with her again early in 2009.

What's more, in addition to the formal part of the workshop, it will give me a chance to visit the cohousing community that hosts the first workshop in the joint two-year series. That will be an opportunity to see how the host cohousing community functions and to meet other cohos from around BC. What a treat that promises to be.