Last weekend I was fortunate to take a course on Aging Well in Community, sponsored by Harbourside Senior Cohousing in Sooke, B.C.
What made it special was not only the setting - the beautiful campus of Royal Roads University, with its exquisite gardens and wild peacocks strutting the grounds - but the people.
They ranged in age from their 50s to their 80's, and although they came from different backgrounds and occupations, everything from a retired RCMP officer to an astrologer, they fit the classic cohousing personality profile.
They were well-travelled, adventurous, constantly seeking out new experiences and challenges - what we at Pacific Gardens would call BURPIES (as distinguished from Yuppies) - bright, under-employed real people.
The purpose of the course was to get us out of denial about aging, and into planning for a positive future by getting real about getting old, and ensuring that we will be able to thrive and flourish during our senior years.
The best way to do that, we learned, was by staying healthy through community. Social isolation is as bad for your health as smoking, and being involved in shared activities was the key to a happy, healthy old age.
Living in cohousing, I had observed the positive effects of community life on our elderberries, as my sister cohouser Roz has dubbed us, with improvements in both physical and mental health for the elders amongst us since they moved here.
Although the course was put on by members of Harbourside Cohousing, they did not say cohousing was the only option, but talked about such actions as retrofitting your house to stay at home, or moving in with children.
Another possibility being investigated by one group of people who attended was building an environmentally-sustainable house for themselves and their friends to live in as they aged.
No-one was keen to live in a gated condominium community, or a seniors' home. We are from the baby boom generation, rather accustomed to making our own choices about how we want to live - and transforming society as we do it!
If all the zoning approvals go through and it gets built, Harbourside Senior Cohousing will be the first of its kind in B.C. and only the second in Canada, leading the way to a new form of aging in place for us active elderberries!
Kathryn
Showing posts with label elders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label elders. Show all posts
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Monday, December 24, 2012
Elderberries party hearty!
Last week Roz held a fabulous party for us older folk - or elderberries as she calls us - at Pacific Gardens. She said the reason was she wanted to clean out her fridge, but I know better - she just likes to party!
True, there was a slightly more serious reason. Some of us are on the cusp of elderberryness, and wanted to glean some wisdom from those in our community who have had more practice.
The food was wonderful. My favourite was the roasted root vegetables and the delicious rhubarb custard crumble - yum! Roz also followed the Pacific Gardens recycling mantra when she made some hot mulled wine with leftover vino from another party.
The best part was the conversation. We went around the table and told tales of our Christmases past, and they were both heart-warming and funny - mostly funny.
Susana told us how she nearly blew up her family's kitchen in an attempt to cook her father's favourite English dessert in a pressure cooker. The star-shaped pattern left by the exploded contents remained on the kitchen ceiling for years.
Michele recalled how the sisters at her convent got rather tipsy munching quantities of bourbon balls, while Clare described one holiday celebration where the main entertainment was making a nativity scene out of day-glo playdough - and then baking it in the oven!
Others remembered their childhood excitement waiting for the arrival of mandarin oranges that came by ship from Japan, or enjoying a Christmas dinner of succulent duck with red cabbage and apricot stuffing.
It was a great evening. We left slightly older, perhaps a little bit wiser, and definitely much merrier. Thank you Roz!
Kathryn
True, there was a slightly more serious reason. Some of us are on the cusp of elderberryness, and wanted to glean some wisdom from those in our community who have had more practice.
The food was wonderful. My favourite was the roasted root vegetables and the delicious rhubarb custard crumble - yum! Roz also followed the Pacific Gardens recycling mantra when she made some hot mulled wine with leftover vino from another party.
The best part was the conversation. We went around the table and told tales of our Christmases past, and they were both heart-warming and funny - mostly funny.
Susana told us how she nearly blew up her family's kitchen in an attempt to cook her father's favourite English dessert in a pressure cooker. The star-shaped pattern left by the exploded contents remained on the kitchen ceiling for years.
Michele recalled how the sisters at her convent got rather tipsy munching quantities of bourbon balls, while Clare described one holiday celebration where the main entertainment was making a nativity scene out of day-glo playdough - and then baking it in the oven!
Others remembered their childhood excitement waiting for the arrival of mandarin oranges that came by ship from Japan, or enjoying a Christmas dinner of succulent duck with red cabbage and apricot stuffing.
It was a great evening. We left slightly older, perhaps a little bit wiser, and definitely much merrier. Thank you Roz!
Kathryn
Monday, May 4, 2009
A new day
The entry entitled Six on Annie's Sensible Living blog brought up regrets for me. When I see how Annie, Krista of the This Inspired Life blog, and some other parents of young children employ the principles of nonviolent communication, my heart aches.
When my kids were young, I did the best I could with the information, resources and personal capacity I had at the time. But, if I had known then what I know now, I would have done many things differently. Yet I don't have a rewind button that allows me to go back and start again. So my whole past -- the good, the bad, and the ugly -- remains my past.
What I am focusing on now is cultivating compassion for myself. I believe that, if I am kind to myself, it will increase my capacity for kindness towards others. I have a tendency to beat up on myself. I am inclined to judge my past actions on the basis of facts and support systems that are available to me now but to which I did not have access then. When I notice myself doing that, I make a conscious effort to return to the present moment, because that's all I have to work with.
With that said, I look forward to interacting with children at Pacific Gardens Cohousing Community. The prospect of living in an intergenerational community was one of the features that attracted me to cohousing. It will provide me with the joy of being in close proximity to little people who are full of life and energy. I experienced that exhilaration when I spent a few days at Creekside Commons in Courtenay, BC.
Not only will it be fun for me, but it also will provide a supportive environment for the parents of those young children. I will be one of the people who will form a surrogate extended family for them. The younger families in our community will have relationships with middle aged and older people who, although they are imperfect, nevertheless aspire to nonviolent communication.
Moving into cohousing will give me an opportunity to interact with children in new ways. I may not have a rewind button, but I do have the capacity to change, to chew through the cocoon that protected and yet imprisoned me when I was a caterpillar and emerge as a butterfly with greater range and freedom.
Happy sixth birthday to Lily, and happy metamorphosis day to Judy.
When my kids were young, I did the best I could with the information, resources and personal capacity I had at the time. But, if I had known then what I know now, I would have done many things differently. Yet I don't have a rewind button that allows me to go back and start again. So my whole past -- the good, the bad, and the ugly -- remains my past.
What I am focusing on now is cultivating compassion for myself. I believe that, if I am kind to myself, it will increase my capacity for kindness towards others. I have a tendency to beat up on myself. I am inclined to judge my past actions on the basis of facts and support systems that are available to me now but to which I did not have access then. When I notice myself doing that, I make a conscious effort to return to the present moment, because that's all I have to work with.
With that said, I look forward to interacting with children at Pacific Gardens Cohousing Community. The prospect of living in an intergenerational community was one of the features that attracted me to cohousing. It will provide me with the joy of being in close proximity to little people who are full of life and energy. I experienced that exhilaration when I spent a few days at Creekside Commons in Courtenay, BC.
Not only will it be fun for me, but it also will provide a supportive environment for the parents of those young children. I will be one of the people who will form a surrogate extended family for them. The younger families in our community will have relationships with middle aged and older people who, although they are imperfect, nevertheless aspire to nonviolent communication.
Moving into cohousing will give me an opportunity to interact with children in new ways. I may not have a rewind button, but I do have the capacity to change, to chew through the cocoon that protected and yet imprisoned me when I was a caterpillar and emerge as a butterfly with greater range and freedom.
Happy sixth birthday to Lily, and happy metamorphosis day to Judy.
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