Saturday, May 9, 2009


"What is a BFO?" you ask. It is what my Pursuit of Excellence instructor calls a Blinding Flash of the Obvious. I had one of them after the second session of the workshop last night.

Our instructor asked us what we wanted for our kids. We gave various answers that described rich, joyful, fulfilling lives. If I was to sum up all the answers I heard, I would say that all of us in the workshop who were parents wanted our kids to thrive. Our instructor said that the greatest gift we could give our kids was to model in our own lives what we wanted for them. She went on to say that, if that was what we wanted for our kids, it also was what our parents wanted for us. So living a happy life also was the greatest gift we could give our parents.

On my way home last night, I had a BFO. I realized that, to the extent that I had arranged my life to be less than fulfilling, I had done it to spite my parents. It was as if I had said, "You didn't do this, this and this for me. Okay, then I won't give you what you want either. I'll show you. I'll be miserable."

Since I separated, joined Pacific Gardens Cohousing Community, and moved to Nanaimo, my life has really taken off. I did what Joseph Campbell advocated. I followed my bliss. It feels to me as if my life can be divided into two eras, BN and AN -- Before Nanaimo and After Nanaimo.

But even my AN life, splendid as it is, has room for improvement. That's why I'm committed to lifelong learning.

I know it already has given my mother and my sons joy to witness how I've been flourishing, but now I'm going to kick it up a notch. Tomorrow is Mother's Day. The flowers I ordered for my mom already have arrived. She said they were gorgeous, and she was thrilled with them. Well, she ain't seen nothin' yet.

Okay, enough of this chit chat, amigos. I'm off to a full day of Pursuit of Excellence.

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